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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
Bless me Father for I hit send.
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
Question everything...Or should you?
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.