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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
Cop: There was no else going anywhere nearly as fast as you! Me: I know. I was winning.
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
This post is just for you.
I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
This oatmeal tastes like I`m gonna need a doughnut.
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......
I can`t figure out why everyone calls me a smart-ass. Is it because I`m smart and have a great ass?
The moment you empty your vacuum cleaner is the moment you become a vacuum cleaner.