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Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
I`ll be back in five minutes. If I`m not, read this again :D
I just threw up my weekend.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
Whenever I want a klondike bar I just pay for it.