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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
Well, one week smoke free, only 4 dead, 27 injured… not bad…
My ex wife claims I have "commitment issues" like I didn`t just wait in line for 30 minutes to get a hot dog at Costco.
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
Moms birthday is next week. I can’t find a card that says “I wish you loved me more than vodka.”
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me all like, “Whoa! That was close!”
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!