Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it “selective participation.”
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
Plug your headphones into a banana. Everyone will leave you alone twice as much.
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.