Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
When you`re accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don`t reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago.
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
Back in my day we had 9 planets.