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Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...
I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all panic and screaming.
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
Rejected Olympic Events: Javelin Catch... Jello Shotput... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.