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My top 5 exercises: -Jumping to conclusions -Flying off the handle -Carrying things too far -Dodging responsibilities -Pushing my luck
I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
“Have you tried just drinking ALOT of vodka?”- me as a therapist
Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
Stalin should have known communism doesn`t work. There were red flags everywhere.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
Your pants say yoga but your a$$ says McDonalds!!
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
Slipped on black ice today, I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I stood up, my wallet was gone.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.