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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
The self-checkout line was a miracle for the condom industry.
I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
"Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
Just once I`d like a doctor to tell me I`m not getting enough beer in my diet.
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.