Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri says, " In 400 feet, stop and let me out".
Anyone that says I`m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
Kid, I can take you out the same way I brought you into this world, by making it look like an accident.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
This Status Update could be yours for six Easy Payments of $19.99
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
Falling in love when lonely is a lot like shopping when hungry, you end up with a bunch of sh!t you don`t need.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?