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If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says “trust me, you don’t want to know.”
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
Who called them expiration dates instead of spoiler alerts
Check this one out.........1
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
The older I get, the more I understand someone`s desire to just say-"F*ck it. I`m going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."