Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
Lust is not real love and Tombstone is not real pizza, but both are fine when you`re drunk.
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
My new girlfiend is taking forever to exist.
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 9 billion dollars.
A revolving door is an IQ test you can fail in public.
I will literally spend $20 on food but won’t buy a $20 shirt.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...
When a woman asks you for your opinion all she really wants to hear is her opinion repeated word for word but in your voice.