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I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
I like to drink while I clean and that`s how I found out what Febreze tastes like.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
I kind of like it getting dark so early because it gives me a great excuse to just stay inside and watch TV.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
I’m not a schizophrenic… At least, that’s what all the voices tell me.
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.