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I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!
I bought a huge plastic Christmas tree today! the shop assistant asked me if I was going to put it up myself? I told him "Don`t be stupid, i`m gonna put it in the lounge room"
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
Never tell a lie ... unless it is absolutely convenient
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
I hate it when people tell me I look young for my age because it implies my age is old.