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common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
Beware of the deodorants with instructions that ask you to "remove the top and push up bottom"... they could at least make them round.
I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!