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Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
I got passed by a Prius on the Interstate and now I’m legally required to pee sitting down.
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
My mind has a mind of its own.
Walmart needs observation decks.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.