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Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
I want to grow my own food but no one makes pizza seeds.
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Got a new blood pressure monitor, says it turns off after 6 minutes of inactivity .....
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
Full disclosure: All my statuses with less than 3 likes were made by my intern.
If you watched the story of my life backwards, you`d see an incredibly inspirational story about hair growth, weight loss, and vastly improved athletic ability.
I can`t figure out why everyone calls me a smart-ass. Is it because I`m smart and have a great ass?
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!