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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can`t flick your friends out the car window
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
Is food porn star a thing yet??
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......