Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
Hush little laptop don`t you cry,mumma gonna find you some more wifi.
Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I`m pretty sure she`ll figure out that I`m just after my money
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
You never truly appreciate Newton’s laws of motion until you’ve sneezed while going to the bathroom.
Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I`m Confused.