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Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those ... Wait ... Two. I have 2 kids.
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
My baby girl is so polite. I told her she needed to share and she said "No, thank you"
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.