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It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
When I hear a person say "My Mom didn`t raise no dummy", I feel like saying "She lied to you"
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose vodka.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.