Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Boss: "Thanks for the coffee. You know what`d go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a donu...Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
The reason good men are hard to find is because they`re usually too busy working.
I had a terrible dream about mufflers and now I`m exhausted.
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
My most heavily used kitchen appliance is a fire extinguisher.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...