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A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, itβs a brighter day.
Iβm probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
βWas that lightning?β βNo noβ¦. theyβre taking pictures for Google Earth..β
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
So does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won`t share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Just kidding! I have no clue whose kid this is.
The βSlow Children Playingβ signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.