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I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
I think the tie was invented by someone who wanted to express how he felt about work but thought an actual noose was too obvious.
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
The Four Seasons, by Facebook: Spring: LOOK FLOWERS! Summer: LOOK AT MY DASHBOARD TEMP! Fall: LOOK LEAVES! Winter: MORE DASHBOARD PICS!
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
Hi there beautiful, can I drive you to drink?
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.