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Maybe I`m the good kind of fat like an avocado.
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Plan B includes margaritas.
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
Hey ladies, you know that feeling you get when you roll over & realize you made a horrible mistake? I could give that to you every day.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what Iām talking about.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves ...That`s where I come in...
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....