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I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!