Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, and that’s how science works.
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation." That wasn`t a very nice postcard to receive.
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.