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There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn`t quite finished...
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
The worst job to have right about now would be that of a realtor in Ferguson.
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
The reason grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are such a great combination is because they are the same basic ingredients as pizza.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there`s no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.