Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
How long do I have to wear these skinny jeans before they start working?
When you were little, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.
You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.
Fun game for parents: Scream in horror the first time your child loses a tooth.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don`t think it`s weird when I have jam in my hair.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?