Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
Nipples (noun) - the body`s way of telling you the weather
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. OK, fine. A mannequin. But she doesn`t talk much and I like that.
Let me drink about it and get back to you.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
“Check that sh!t out” luckily rarely refers to actual sh!t.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.