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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
I`m just 1 nap, 8 beers, 2 orgasms and my own personal robot away from this being the best day ever.
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
I’m going to start wearing Summer’s Eve as a cologne. The vast majority of beautiful women seem to be attracted to douches.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.
"Is everything OK?" "Well, I`ve been kind of down since the divorce..." "I meant with your pasta, sir."
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.
It`s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops