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Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
Women can brutally and methodically destroy your life. But they let you see their tits along the way so it`s totally cool.
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
Me: You`ve dimmed the lights already, aren`t we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.