Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
You never know whats going on in your life until you’re f*cked up.
7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
Me: "Why do all the people I love leave me?!" UPS Guy: "Please Mam, just sign"
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
The covers of this book are too far apart.
You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example.
There are over 10 different flavors of Ramen Noodles, yet they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.
The only people without problems are in the cemetery.