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It`s Friday! High-five some sh!t!
I watched my first Porn the other day. I looked so much younger back then!
I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
Relationship status: If I slam on my brakes really hard... The seatbelt hugs me back.
You`d think he`d be better at this with all the porn he watches
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.
Anything is legal when there`s no police around