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That amazing moment when you find money in your clothes that you forgot was there.
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car.
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
Me and my recliner...we go way back.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.