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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

An awkward morning beats a boring night.
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
There`s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
I keep having this dream that I`m being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
I was born at a very early age.
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.