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Before the internet I used to like people.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
The naked truth, is always better than someone’s best dressed lie.
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?