Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
DATING TIP: never reveal how many cats you have.
I work out ... Just kidding, I take naps.
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.