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Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
It`s hard to make your coffee when you haven`t had your coffee.
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Ladies, don`t say that men never listen... We can tell you every word of what was said during an NFL pregame or in-game broadcast.
Never tell a lie ... unless it is absolutely convenient
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.