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Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
I learned how to kiss passionately by practicing on my hand, but now it just uses me for sex.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
Right before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
HANGOVER!!!!! it`s God`s way of sayin "u kicked a$$ last night"
Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried to nail JELL-O to a tree.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
Why can`t insomnia start in the morning.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.