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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s