Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
How to cure a headache: 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I`m always like, "I love you," and they`re like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.