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Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He`s going to pay for that later.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Gym update: not there
I fake my LOLs
I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
It’s the people that DON`T talk to themselves that are the crazy ones. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.