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If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
If we learned anything from the Mayans, it’s that if you don’t finish something, it’s not the end of the world
I gave up on humanity when I picked up this girl`s phone and saw that my number was saved as Free Food.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she’s still there.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!……It’ll take them an hour to pass the salt!
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
I don`t know exactly who`s health I`m drinking to, but they`re going to be immortal at this rate
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.