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word of the day: nincomtard
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
Scientists have discovered that at least 50 percent of fat people’s BMI is made up of excuses...
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
This status is mine....I licked it.
"How many people work at your company?" About half of them.
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.