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Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
I got in an elevator with a lady with big breasts. She said could you press one for me please. I did and that was the last thing I remember
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
I hope when I die Charlie Sheen`s life flashes before my eyes.
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
After Monday and Tuesday... even the week says WTF!