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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Gym Update: Not there.
The recipe said “Set the oven to 180 degrees,” so I did, but now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
If listening to stupid people burned calories, I`d be a supermodel.
That awkward moment when the woman your dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, and you realize she`s just lost an earring and nobody in Starbucks can hear your iPod...
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.