Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
My Wife: Why are you home so early? Me: My boss told me to go to hell
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Apparently banned from the petting zoo...
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a big sign of disrespect.
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"