Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do you know you`re old? ... Check your glove box for paper maps ...
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
There is no time to check time
Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.