Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
Marriage: an expensive way to get your laundry done for free..
Ways to die: Steal my food.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
Good job on the speed traps, cops – How are the murderer traps coming along?
Who called them expiration dates instead of spoiler alerts
You know why it`s called almond milk? Cuz you can`t say nut juice with a straight face
You have no idea how funny I am to me.
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.