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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
I`d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly or a brown bear. But maybe like a care bear. I`d fight one of those sonsabitches for you.
The problem with today`s children is that today`s parents are idiots.
I want one of those jobs where people ask, β€œDo you actually get paid for doing this?”
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…