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I carved my name in a fruitcake in 1982. If anyone gets it this year, post a pic!
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
I don`t get it, no matter how many times I call `shotgun` the cops always put me in the backseat.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Tonight, I`m bringing Sexy back! I just hope I don`t need a receipt...
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?