Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me `Will you be putting it up yourself?` I told him, `No, you sicko, it`s going in the living room!`
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
Even when I’m home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.