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Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
If my memory gets any worse I`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Receipts are just short-stories about how stupid you are with money.
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty