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Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
Did a 5k today. Except it was how many calories I had at lunch.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.