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I got married so that I can be autocorrected even when my phone is off.
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
Alcohol-The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance medicine.
If someone doesn`t return your texts, relax and remember they`re probably just busy not liking you.
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
I`m not sure who`s more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
gua suka sama kamu