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If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
Sometimes all you need is $100,000
I wonder how many dads named their sons Luke just so they can say "Luke, I am your father."....
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2015.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
Euphoria....the feeling you get when you finally beat "that" level on Candy Crush.
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with