Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
I donΒ΄t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
I read in a book somewhere that we only use 12% of our brains....I wonder what the other half is for?
After all these years, I`m beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn`t want to be found.
I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock.
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
I feel like a nickle in the March of Dimes.