Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
The best thing about falling down when you`re home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
The Zoo is a safe place to fart.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.