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My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was.
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today, or flash them your boobs...... Strangers love boobs!
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
If a clown farts, does it smell funny?
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!