Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?