Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
I`ve polished the mirror in the bathroom so much, you can see your face in it.
How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures.
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Pizza Consumed column.
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
Facebook is not so bad once you block your family and friends.
I don`t blame Monday. I blame Saturday for not matching my Powerball numbers
You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
Line forms here for spankings
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!