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How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I have to like you. Go on, I`ll wait.
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
You make me want to be a drunker person
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
Why can`t Miss Piggy count to 100? Cuz` when she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat!
it`s friday o clock
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn`t starving!!
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
I scream. You scream. The police come ... It`s awkward ;)