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I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
I`d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly or a brown bear. But maybe like a care bear. I`d fight one of those sonsabitches for you.
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
Marrying your high school sweetheart is like taking the banker`s first offer on Deal or No Deal.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?