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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
Facebook is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
Don`t believe everything you think.
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress just so that I’d have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I`m not really interested
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.