Daily Silly Status

I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.

people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?

It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.

Relax, you’re not paranoid at all. Everyone is talking about you.

I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...

This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone`s head.

Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi

Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...

The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.

I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."

You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|

I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.

Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.

There better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober.

For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I`m on a `secure line`