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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
I`ve officially reached the point in my life where the trash goes out on Friday nights way more often than I do.
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
I have a black belt in leather
I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I`m not an actor.
Just tore the tag off my mattress and there’s nothing the feds can do about it. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time