Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
I`m not fat, God gave me built in airbags because I`m so precious.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
I`m having trouble telling if it`s killing me or making me stronger
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
“I saw that.” -Karma
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.