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If I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like Iām choking it to death.
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
Three weeks without a signal typo!
Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!
bras are booby-traps
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
I just found out my smoke detector comes with a warranty. WHAT FOR? If it don`t work, what`s left?
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
I used to like my neighbors until they changed the password to their wi-fi :)
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.