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I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
It`s not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not poop your pants.
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.