Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
Where do homeless people find all these sharpies?
If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious… I’d wonder who the f&*k was paying me, and why?
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
So glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how much I’m understanding what other people are saying.
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?