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My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
I give great marriage advice if you want to be divorced.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
The only thing I have learned so far in this company meeting is that this room has 37 ceiling tiles and 24 fluorescent bulbs.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
the only way I know something is bad for me is if I like it