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Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
Hate it when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it’s not even in there.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.