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When I say "It`s a long story," it doesn`t mean it`s actually a long story. It means I just don`t want to tell you.
Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn`t mean I`m getting old, right? Means I`m turning into a werewolf! Right?
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart?
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
Choosing A Career Is Like Chosing A Wife From 10 Girls. Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful, Intelligent, Kindest Woman, There`s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
It`s not too late to start convincing our children that the world really did end in 2012 and we`re the survivors.