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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
Laxatives............for people who don`t give a crap.
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.