Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn`t had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes.
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
It’s hard to tell if I’m dealing really well with life these days or if I just don’t give a sh!t.
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
We think therefore we must be, but are we?