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Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice