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I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
Whenever I`m sad, you`re there. Whenever I`m having problems, you`re always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you`re always there. Lets face it. You`re bad luck.
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
In an effort to explain marriage to my son I put Dora the Explorer on in Spanish and told him to figure it out or he sleeps on the couch.
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who can`t take care of himself.
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.