Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
Somehow the talk went a little wrong with my 7 year old and now he`s convinced that birds have sex with bees and now he won`t eat honey.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren`t in the database.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
Today was about as much fun as a warm toilet seat in a public restroom!
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions